Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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