I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
where am i from again
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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