the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
