Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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