Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
