How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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