Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize