Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
