my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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