So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize