I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
