I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
