idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
