Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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