something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
