he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just had sex on a roof
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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