I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
