you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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