is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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