In the future we'll all be gay
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize