Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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