How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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