Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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