That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just found puke in my bra..
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
