he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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