There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
