lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
