What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
