it hurts more in the daytime
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
