this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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