Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
