You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Green mimosas i think yes
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
