Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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