Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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