So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
