her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
