she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
