I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
