I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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