I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
