I wanna passion pit in your ass
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
