I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
