I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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