So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize
