it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
