But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
