Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
