I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Randomize
