So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize