my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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