You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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