Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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