i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
the raccoons are back...
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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