Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
