I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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