But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
