At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize