Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
