White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
