oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
