Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
