Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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