Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
