no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
